Dead Woman's Revival..

I have recently walked the corridors of Indigo looking for answers!  I feel like this year has started off on the wrong foot musically and I need a melodic pick-me up.  Looking for something a little Bobby Vinton meets The Misfits (just the flavour I wanted on my palette that day- last week I was looking for Freddie Mcgregor meets the Clarendonians and realized I just wanted to listen to some Viceroys after all). I was looking for something with choir chants and 1940's piccolo flute, and BOY,did I find what I was looking for.  I have discovered something so wonderful , yet somehow it was right under my nose!  I first heard of actor Ryan Gosling's band of brothers called Dead Man's Bones a few months ago when I read a brief music review in Bust magazine.  I thought they sounded wonderful! Planning on research was a must, but getting caught up with life allowed me to decline in blogging lately.  So in my usual attempt to go to Chapters without buying anything but a coffee with , I found something pulling me in the direction of the music section.  I knew what I wanted, but wasn't sure If they would have it. And to think I misjudged!  I had a craving, and I am fed.  Not Only do I find the words so lyrically satisfying, I actually have Ty liking a few of the tracks! (something that never happens when I obsess over new music).  Gosling provides vocals much like those of Ian Curtis of  Joy division. You will love the melodies and find yourself listening to the album a few times a day.  Oh and the Silverlake Conservatory Children's Choir pays a huge contribution to this album (the icing on the cake). This is my favorite pick of the year so far..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEvF7qUf2Pc

Hate to be blue on a green day..

  If there is anything I have learned this year so far, it is to be true to who you are.  Don't fear anything, take risks, push yourself.  This is what has gotten me through the past little while.  Just hold on lady.. you can do it!
  We have no idea how much we can endure physically and emotionally until put to the test. This year alone, I have been put to the test in both ways more times than I can count.  Where do I start!??  We all have these little tests we have been given, and if passing, peels more layers to unravel the meaning of our true selves, while building strength- the muscles of our capabilities (like peeling an orange).  I think the hardest thing to lose during these little tests of strength is your support system.  Pull a beam from under you, and you crumble.  Whether the people in your life choose to be apart of your solution or not, you just have to understand that its not about everyone else, its about working on you.  But we are Gods little lambs, just looking for someone to show us the way.  I have always been someone who hasn't needed a shepherd, but liked the company anyways.  I have some great friends and family, most of which I rarely get to see on a day-to-day basis.  One of my support beams feels loose everytime I think of how many nights I spend relieving my nostalgia with exercise.  Yes I am a size 6 now, but I still have a fat worry! I miss certain friends,or even long-lost family. Or the times in my life when things seemed simpler (in a rut, or what?)  And there is nothing I can do to relieve that stress!!! I quit smoking, I no longer eat sugar, my God what is left!?? 

I pray.

If I talk to the universe, somehow I feel like everything will be ok. Times when I never wanted to lose, but wasn't given a choice. Times when people walked away, when I reached out. Or on the brighter side, times when I gained when I wasn't even looking.  I am thankful for a lot of things.  My family , my friends, my cat (awww) and most importantly, Ty.  He has been here through my thick and through my thin (no pun intended ;)).  Thank you for staying with me, and supporting me when I need you!  You are my entire support system, and that is all I need.  I only hope that I am that for you too.  I love you always. xoxo

On that note.. Happy St.Patricks Day!!! Have a green beer for me, because I can't drink beer today :(  (diet, hello:)

Until I grieve again,

M

I won't fight it!

May as well put our hands up like Molly, theres not much we can do about the daylight savings time. I am soo tired!!! Grrrr...

There are a lot of things that blow my mind when it comes to the new music scene. The wedge has introduced many of these up and coming artists. Myself , being from the greater Toronto area, am privledged enough to share the same corner store as these talented musical mutants.  I have been in love with many indie artists, not as fad, but as a musical taste, or religion.  It has became apparant to me that my palate loves new musical trends, but still craves the same popular treats my ears long to hear (Tom Waits, Ween, Joy Division, PIL, Sonic Youth, I could do this all day..) .
    
  I first heard about Rykarda Parasol from one of my fav. on-line music stations.  At first I thought she was very PJ Harvey inspired, very Velvet Underground.  But as I listened on, I began to hear more of her musical inspirations behind the words and her voice.  In my opinion, its ok if it's been all done before.  Just like food, our ears love our favorite tunes, and some of us more adventurous types like new flavours.  It's ok if its been done before, as long as you added a cherry on top.  

Rykarda has some pretty powerful pipes, and some of her songs are very mellow.  Light a smoke and enjoy..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvHkBiriewQ

Reads I love...

One of my favorite magazines of all time!! It won't tell you the 10 reasons why he's just not that into you, but it will tell you the 50 reasons why you shouldn't care!  Rosie the Riveter would have approved!!

I've been a little busy...

So I'll admit... I have been really lazy when it has come to blogging lately.  But it's only because I have been exhausted trying to kick my butt into shape.  Having lost 45 lbs since August (No praise-- I still don't know how I did it!) I find myself just flatlining weight wise.  I'm soft and giggly, and my breasts are winding roads... it looks as bad as it sounds.  So I wasn't sure how much working out would do for me at this point- I was border-line starving and if I strained the body with exercise I would pack on weight because I had to eat more. So my plan was to eat more of the same foods, slowly incorperating other types weekly, all the while working out.  A great workout DVD is called the last 10 lbs with Jillian Michaels. Its so cliche, but it really works, and it's inexpensive.  It requires two 5lbs dumbells, and determination.. get on it! It changed my body in just 4 weeks.  No lie!  My ass doesn't hang so low, and I feel like I am extending my life span (not sure how I feel about living middle to low class for an extra 30 years, but oh well). I feel like I am making positive changes in my life.  For once, I feel like I have control ! It's liberating!! I no longer crave abba-zabba, or Almond Joy (thank-you Tom Waits). I crave water and fruit, something I never thought I would. Have a cheat day once a week, and make it count (I count all three bottles of cabernet!)  Now who's got a cig?

Amen.

Religion is such a hard subject for me to talk about.  Growing up in a euro-catholic house hold, I had one rack in my clothes closet that was specifically for my 'church outfits'.  I went to a catholic elementary school, and part of highschool (I realized that it was ok to have a voice, and decided to join the general public in school after the first 2 years of not evolving) went to church every sunday, and said my prayers before meals, and at bed time.  I couldn't pay attention in church because I was only 10 and hadn't a clue what the priest was talking about (what do you mean the guy next to me is my brother? he is older than my mother.. how could my mother have given birth to him?? haha). As I got older I grew to hate my mother for making me go, but still went, thinking of it as an opportunity for a nap. There came the time when I had enough of religion class and decided to move on to a place where things are 'normal'.  My parents argued it for months, leaving me in fits of tears and frustration.  Finally, after a long battle with convincing them with brochures and parent reviews, they said yes. 

     There was no excitement behind those godles forbidden walls.  I still made great friends, but learned exactly what I was learning in a catholic school, minus the religion.  I guess that is what I wanted, right?  Wrong.  I wanted to believe that people were different when they weren't from what I thought was an organized cult.  I thought they were nicer, stronger, unique, non-conformist individuals who knew what life was really all about.  Turns out they were just like me.  They did not want to be religious, but they all had a sense of spirituality.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I still believe that the Roman Catholic religion is an organized cult, it's what my foreign 80-year old grandmother practiced because it was all she knew(It made her feel like she led a clean life in the eyes of God, and that is okay if it worked for her).  We all believe in something. We all belong to some part of organization whether or not it is non-religious, that makes us feel like we are respected and whole some well-bred individuals. We all want to believe that there is something or someone out there that is taking the reigns in these hard times. That we can let go of the power when we are tired of having it. That is all we long for.  I am not by any means religious.  I no longer go to church, haven't in years,  and I don't read the bible and I certainly do NOT practice catholic traditions.  But do find myself talking to God, asking for help when I feel the need.  I want to tell the world my views on religion-- I think it SUCKS.  But I believe spirituality is the key to all good things.  You don't have to believe in God, but believe in something or someone. Believe that something or someone is watching over you when you are at your lowest. Something or someone loves you!