Hate to be blue on a green day..

  If there is anything I have learned this year so far, it is to be true to who you are.  Don't fear anything, take risks, push yourself.  This is what has gotten me through the past little while.  Just hold on lady.. you can do it!
  We have no idea how much we can endure physically and emotionally until put to the test. This year alone, I have been put to the test in both ways more times than I can count.  Where do I start!??  We all have these little tests we have been given, and if passing, peels more layers to unravel the meaning of our true selves, while building strength- the muscles of our capabilities (like peeling an orange).  I think the hardest thing to lose during these little tests of strength is your support system.  Pull a beam from under you, and you crumble.  Whether the people in your life choose to be apart of your solution or not, you just have to understand that its not about everyone else, its about working on you.  But we are Gods little lambs, just looking for someone to show us the way.  I have always been someone who hasn't needed a shepherd, but liked the company anyways.  I have some great friends and family, most of which I rarely get to see on a day-to-day basis.  One of my support beams feels loose everytime I think of how many nights I spend relieving my nostalgia with exercise.  Yes I am a size 6 now, but I still have a fat worry! I miss certain friends,or even long-lost family. Or the times in my life when things seemed simpler (in a rut, or what?)  And there is nothing I can do to relieve that stress!!! I quit smoking, I no longer eat sugar, my God what is left!?? 

I pray.

If I talk to the universe, somehow I feel like everything will be ok. Times when I never wanted to lose, but wasn't given a choice. Times when people walked away, when I reached out. Or on the brighter side, times when I gained when I wasn't even looking.  I am thankful for a lot of things.  My family , my friends, my cat (awww) and most importantly, Ty.  He has been here through my thick and through my thin (no pun intended ;)).  Thank you for staying with me, and supporting me when I need you!  You are my entire support system, and that is all I need.  I only hope that I am that for you too.  I love you always. xoxo

On that note.. Happy St.Patricks Day!!! Have a green beer for me, because I can't drink beer today :(  (diet, hello:)

Until I grieve again,

M