Hello Darlin, How you been?

It has been three months to the date since I have wrote on this thing!  I wish I had a more interesting life! A lot has happened in this time frame.  Momma's gettin' married!!   Will post pics, and more fun to come I'm sure...

Dead Woman's Revival..

I have recently walked the corridors of Indigo looking for answers!  I feel like this year has started off on the wrong foot musically and I need a melodic pick-me up.  Looking for something a little Bobby Vinton meets The Misfits (just the flavour I wanted on my palette that day- last week I was looking for Freddie Mcgregor meets the Clarendonians and realized I just wanted to listen to some Viceroys after all). I was looking for something with choir chants and 1940's piccolo flute, and BOY,did I find what I was looking for.  I have discovered something so wonderful , yet somehow it was right under my nose!  I first heard of actor Ryan Gosling's band of brothers called Dead Man's Bones a few months ago when I read a brief music review in Bust magazine.  I thought they sounded wonderful! Planning on research was a must, but getting caught up with life allowed me to decline in blogging lately.  So in my usual attempt to go to Chapters without buying anything but a coffee with , I found something pulling me in the direction of the music section.  I knew what I wanted, but wasn't sure If they would have it. And to think I misjudged!  I had a craving, and I am fed.  Not Only do I find the words so lyrically satisfying, I actually have Ty liking a few of the tracks! (something that never happens when I obsess over new music).  Gosling provides vocals much like those of Ian Curtis of  Joy division. You will love the melodies and find yourself listening to the album a few times a day.  Oh and the Silverlake Conservatory Children's Choir pays a huge contribution to this album (the icing on the cake). This is my favorite pick of the year so far..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEvF7qUf2Pc

Hate to be blue on a green day..

  If there is anything I have learned this year so far, it is to be true to who you are.  Don't fear anything, take risks, push yourself.  This is what has gotten me through the past little while.  Just hold on lady.. you can do it!
  We have no idea how much we can endure physically and emotionally until put to the test. This year alone, I have been put to the test in both ways more times than I can count.  Where do I start!??  We all have these little tests we have been given, and if passing, peels more layers to unravel the meaning of our true selves, while building strength- the muscles of our capabilities (like peeling an orange).  I think the hardest thing to lose during these little tests of strength is your support system.  Pull a beam from under you, and you crumble.  Whether the people in your life choose to be apart of your solution or not, you just have to understand that its not about everyone else, its about working on you.  But we are Gods little lambs, just looking for someone to show us the way.  I have always been someone who hasn't needed a shepherd, but liked the company anyways.  I have some great friends and family, most of which I rarely get to see on a day-to-day basis.  One of my support beams feels loose everytime I think of how many nights I spend relieving my nostalgia with exercise.  Yes I am a size 6 now, but I still have a fat worry! I miss certain friends,or even long-lost family. Or the times in my life when things seemed simpler (in a rut, or what?)  And there is nothing I can do to relieve that stress!!! I quit smoking, I no longer eat sugar, my God what is left!?? 

I pray.

If I talk to the universe, somehow I feel like everything will be ok. Times when I never wanted to lose, but wasn't given a choice. Times when people walked away, when I reached out. Or on the brighter side, times when I gained when I wasn't even looking.  I am thankful for a lot of things.  My family , my friends, my cat (awww) and most importantly, Ty.  He has been here through my thick and through my thin (no pun intended ;)).  Thank you for staying with me, and supporting me when I need you!  You are my entire support system, and that is all I need.  I only hope that I am that for you too.  I love you always. xoxo

On that note.. Happy St.Patricks Day!!! Have a green beer for me, because I can't drink beer today :(  (diet, hello:)

Until I grieve again,

M

I won't fight it!

May as well put our hands up like Molly, theres not much we can do about the daylight savings time. I am soo tired!!! Grrrr...

There are a lot of things that blow my mind when it comes to the new music scene. The wedge has introduced many of these up and coming artists. Myself , being from the greater Toronto area, am privledged enough to share the same corner store as these talented musical mutants.  I have been in love with many indie artists, not as fad, but as a musical taste, or religion.  It has became apparant to me that my palate loves new musical trends, but still craves the same popular treats my ears long to hear (Tom Waits, Ween, Joy Division, PIL, Sonic Youth, I could do this all day..) .
    
  I first heard about Rykarda Parasol from one of my fav. on-line music stations.  At first I thought she was very PJ Harvey inspired, very Velvet Underground.  But as I listened on, I began to hear more of her musical inspirations behind the words and her voice.  In my opinion, its ok if it's been all done before.  Just like food, our ears love our favorite tunes, and some of us more adventurous types like new flavours.  It's ok if its been done before, as long as you added a cherry on top.  

Rykarda has some pretty powerful pipes, and some of her songs are very mellow.  Light a smoke and enjoy..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvHkBiriewQ

Reads I love...

One of my favorite magazines of all time!! It won't tell you the 10 reasons why he's just not that into you, but it will tell you the 50 reasons why you shouldn't care!  Rosie the Riveter would have approved!!

I've been a little busy...

So I'll admit... I have been really lazy when it has come to blogging lately.  But it's only because I have been exhausted trying to kick my butt into shape.  Having lost 45 lbs since August (No praise-- I still don't know how I did it!) I find myself just flatlining weight wise.  I'm soft and giggly, and my breasts are winding roads... it looks as bad as it sounds.  So I wasn't sure how much working out would do for me at this point- I was border-line starving and if I strained the body with exercise I would pack on weight because I had to eat more. So my plan was to eat more of the same foods, slowly incorperating other types weekly, all the while working out.  A great workout DVD is called the last 10 lbs with Jillian Michaels. Its so cliche, but it really works, and it's inexpensive.  It requires two 5lbs dumbells, and determination.. get on it! It changed my body in just 4 weeks.  No lie!  My ass doesn't hang so low, and I feel like I am extending my life span (not sure how I feel about living middle to low class for an extra 30 years, but oh well). I feel like I am making positive changes in my life.  For once, I feel like I have control ! It's liberating!! I no longer crave abba-zabba, or Almond Joy (thank-you Tom Waits). I crave water and fruit, something I never thought I would. Have a cheat day once a week, and make it count (I count all three bottles of cabernet!)  Now who's got a cig?

Amen.

Religion is such a hard subject for me to talk about.  Growing up in a euro-catholic house hold, I had one rack in my clothes closet that was specifically for my 'church outfits'.  I went to a catholic elementary school, and part of highschool (I realized that it was ok to have a voice, and decided to join the general public in school after the first 2 years of not evolving) went to church every sunday, and said my prayers before meals, and at bed time.  I couldn't pay attention in church because I was only 10 and hadn't a clue what the priest was talking about (what do you mean the guy next to me is my brother? he is older than my mother.. how could my mother have given birth to him?? haha). As I got older I grew to hate my mother for making me go, but still went, thinking of it as an opportunity for a nap. There came the time when I had enough of religion class and decided to move on to a place where things are 'normal'.  My parents argued it for months, leaving me in fits of tears and frustration.  Finally, after a long battle with convincing them with brochures and parent reviews, they said yes. 

     There was no excitement behind those godles forbidden walls.  I still made great friends, but learned exactly what I was learning in a catholic school, minus the religion.  I guess that is what I wanted, right?  Wrong.  I wanted to believe that people were different when they weren't from what I thought was an organized cult.  I thought they were nicer, stronger, unique, non-conformist individuals who knew what life was really all about.  Turns out they were just like me.  They did not want to be religious, but they all had a sense of spirituality.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I still believe that the Roman Catholic religion is an organized cult, it's what my foreign 80-year old grandmother practiced because it was all she knew(It made her feel like she led a clean life in the eyes of God, and that is okay if it worked for her).  We all believe in something. We all belong to some part of organization whether or not it is non-religious, that makes us feel like we are respected and whole some well-bred individuals. We all want to believe that there is something or someone out there that is taking the reigns in these hard times. That we can let go of the power when we are tired of having it. That is all we long for.  I am not by any means religious.  I no longer go to church, haven't in years,  and I don't read the bible and I certainly do NOT practice catholic traditions.  But do find myself talking to God, asking for help when I feel the need.  I want to tell the world my views on religion-- I think it SUCKS.  But I believe spirituality is the key to all good things.  You don't have to believe in God, but believe in something or someone. Believe that something or someone is watching over you when you are at your lowest. Something or someone loves you!

There is a season, turn..

I have been living my days as tediously as can be (subconsiously of course).  Nothing new is happening.. I get up and shower, tidy up my apartment, feed the cat, feed my hub, make dinner, go to work, and come home- all the while thinking about this blog!  I have really drawn blanks lately as to what to update!  I guess I have been feeling like I am incapable of being interesting 100% of the time, and I guess that's ok.  Apart from the fact that I won't be winning a bloggie award any time soon (no bitter feelings there),  I guess I am coming to the conclusion that I am not as complex as I thought I was, and it really bothers me!  I strive to have an interesting life, and I guess I am uncomfortable with being 'normal'.  I watch some great movies, try to be a part of community events, read books, listen to new music, and see research new and upcoming artists and designers- all the while wanting to write about it right here, right now..- yet i haven't.  Why? Besides being a little tired, I build myself up and become consumed with life, not realizing that we are all trying to get somewhere (where? I dunno) but we never stop to smell the roses..

I never stop to smell the roses, yet I wish there were more roses.  I admit to you, all of my friends that I have become boring! Yes boring! I never thought that would happen, but it won't last long I hope, and I guess the first step to change is recognizing the problem (I hate to get all AA on you, but the 12 steps really apply to life not just drinking).  I guess I can sum up all of this confetti in two words.... Bloody February.  I hope to god I see the light by March...

Feline photo shoot part 2.

Molly is such a camera hog!

This really belongs on http://www.stuffonmycat.com/.

xo

 I  love akward bathroom poses!  As for me, I'm feeling much better, thanks.  I think I am back for good (sorry, we're open!).  You'll hear from me soon!

sickly thing..

I haven't had anything to say because I am fighting a cold!  I am hot and cold, and unable to speak because of my tonsilitis. Needless to say,  I have heard a lot of rubbish and was unable to comment, so this week's blog should be juicy enough!

Baby got (paper)back..

 I wandered Chapters today aimlessly, trying to find a good book to get into, and I wasn't really sure what I was looking for.  I automatically go to the Biography section, or the self-help because those are my regular isles of choice. I absolutely hate walking around in circles at a book store, trying to make it look like I know what I'm looking for, just like everyone does!
   I was looking for something to wow me, make me more aware, and maybe a just a little bit smarter..  I found nothing! Getting overwhelmed with all of the choices,I walk through the isles and start to sweat, so immediately head for he exit.  That mission failed, so I tried a little on-line research....

   THE INTERNET IS A WONDERLAND OF BOOK REVIEWS!  God bless google!! I found some pretty cool-looking reads, and I am making an oath to read these books and write a review and share them with you and pass along the knowledge.  I think I should start a book club!! (Thank God i'm not single)

Here they are:

I love Lydia Lunch- she is the no-wave punk princess, so any book about her crazy life is a good read.  I read up on her latest book Will Work For Drugs.  It is a collection of essays, fiction, poems, and interviews.  As cliche as is sounds, this book is promised to not be another poster board for heroin punk, and I'm going to find out if that is true-- A review to come!

My second choice is How To Talk Dirty And Influence People by Lenny Bruce.  Im a Lenny-lover, so I knew I would be interested in this book.  It is a biography in his own words, and yes he talks about his drug habits, HOWEVER..  It's gotten great reviews, and his exposing hypocrisies is brilliant.  I'm excited for this one!

and lastly, Hellions: Pop Culture's Rebel Women by Maria Raha.  Nuff' said!!! I can't wait to dive in!

Surreal.

I have been really into pop surrealism art lately.  I'm loving artist Mark Ryden's epic collection of woodlands to butcheries. I think pop surrealism doesn't receive the recognition it deserves.We are all so blinded by what is common, and forget about the local artistry and how much talent really lies here among us.  I can admire Van Gogh's Sunflowers, but when I admire Mark's painting of  The Ox Suckling Romulus and Remus, there is no guesswork involved.  They tell their own stories.  We need more artists like him to make us bare witness to the erie and unknown.  Out of our comfort zone, and into the twilight zone! Check out his art sitehttp://www.markryden.com/ .  Also check out local artist Ray Caesar, from Toronto who is another fellow pop surrealism artist.http://www.raycaesar.com/.

Yum..

I made my honey a roast dinner from skratch including a yorkshire pudding, and I thought I would share..

We Can Do It! (*flex bicep*)

I was watching a documentary on WW2 last night, and I couldn't stop myself from sharing this fighting females propaganda poster that I find so ironic...

Women played a vital role in WW1 and WW2. Not being able to join the navy didn't stop women in the 1940's to lend helping hands and make a change. Millions of women took wartime jobs in factories, filling in for men on farms,and working at the Red Cross.





By the early 1940's men were completely erased from the work force due to the U.S military, and Rosie The Riveter took their place. I simply love being a chick..

I like this...

360 West 11th Street, NY

When I was searching for the perfect blog name (is there even such a thing), I was trying to tag my thoughts to reality. I really like some of the blog listers out there and to be quite honest, I'm not that inventive. I first heard about Julian Schnabel's West Village Curio from a friend who stood outside the Palazzo Chupi building and took photographs of it. I thought it looked surreal(like something out of Cayo Santa Maria). I wondered what it would be like to live in it.. Was it pink on the inside too?? (Sadly, as I researched it some more, I found out it wasn't). But to live in the penthouse at the pink panther costs a cool 10.5 million! It seems so civilianized, however it is a high-roller's pink paradise.I know it all sounds so frou frou, but it's something I admittedly want to see next time I pay a visit to NY. I could never afford to live there unless I was rich (or frolicking at the boom-boom room with Alfred, my 80 year old boy toy).. maybe one day I can even step foot in a unit, but who knows.. for now it will remain a mystery and my blog title..



If Richard Gere didn't live there, It would totally be rad..

I can feel my tubes tying themselves..

It's funny that with each passing decade, kids will always be kids.. It's just the decade that changes what they are into at the tender ages of 3 and up. They still don't like vegetables, they hate when you make them brush their teeth, and they don't want to go to bed at 8pm. They have amazing bullshit protectors on their little ears that make you crazy when they don't listen, and they have doe-faces expressions that melt you when they are upset or crying. You sometimes watch them when they sleep, just because they look so peaceful, and you tell everyone that your life became much more fullfilling since you have had children..

I THINK I AM INCAPABLE OF LOVING A CHILD, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I COULD STRANGLE THE LITTLE SNOT-NOSED BRATS!!! I think something is wrong with me!

I feel none of these things for children! None at all. The only child I truly love and care for is my darling nephew (don't get me wrong, I have friends who have children, all of whom I love and care for). Could it be that this all changes when you have your own, because they are yours? I guess I will know when I decide to have a child just before my eggs are about to dry up... I dunno, what do you think??



Cute aren't they? But you can hear the screams just by looking at this photo. These kids are about 75 now, so karma is a real bitch.

I absolutely love these! www.modcloth.com is a fantastic website that has such interesting little tid-bits..

Snippity Chicks/Wallowing in the mire..

I have worked in hair salons for about 5 years now, thus, making a ton of hairdresser friends. I love them all!(they know who they are). At one point in my life I thought I, too wanted to be a 'stylist', later realizing that I infact hated people(I know, hate is such a strong word, but i'm jaded!). I love the aspect of creating an artistic expression on the human head, it being a blank canvass for my thoughts and feelings. I love the hues and shapes you can create, and the many era's you can relive through one simple sweep of the hair.. I love all it has to offer.. making people feel beautiful and confident, original, well-kept and pampered. I'm sure for many stylists, this is what they aspire to do for others, and themselves. Its their true passion (at least for the talented people I know and remain close with)...

BUT YOU CRAZY SPINSTER WOMEN, VOLVO-DRIVING SOCCER MOMS, AND RICH/CHEAP BROADS THAT I HAVE TO ENDURE DAY-IN AND DAY-OUT HAVE TURNED ME INTO AN ANTI-STYLIST!!!!!

That's right, I said anti-stylist.(ant-TEE-STI-list). It's kinda like being an antifascist, but negative..

I am sick of rebooking your appointments a year in advance, and then have you call back telling me to switch all the times to 5pm instead of 1pm and make them a root touch up in between highlight services, having me booking appointments and re-booking all day long..

I am sick of you coming into the salon asking if you can get an appointment with so and so, and when I proceed to say no, you walk in anyway and ask the stylist of choice yourself, going completely over my head.. why would I lie to you?? Unless your the queen of Sheba, your not gettin' in!!

I'm sick of how you preteen and emo-crazed boys, girls, and girl/boy/lady gaga types coming in asking to dye your hair blonde from jet black and not expect it to cost more than a root-touch up..then make a scene when you don't get your way! Go cut yourself to feel!!

When I was an assistant, I would shampoo your hair while you were on your cell phone, making it impossible to do, and I hated your for it!!

I could go on and on and on. But if your a hairdresser, I commend you. I commend you on your hard-work and patience. Your love of the craft oversees these petty annoyances and that makes you good at your job. You are a true stylist. I, on the other hand, am an anti-stylist. I love hair, I love the art. But there isn't much room for creativity around here anyways. Living in town like the shwa, the mullets are a dime-a-dozen! Not to mention the money-hungry salon owners and stylists that lack true creativity (this past year has shown me more phoney stylists than any other year in this business). I think I know some of the best stylists, and you all know who you are. Maybe I can still work with hair somehow, like dog grooming, or toupee making.. For now I'll just wallow in my crapulence--no wait that can't be right..



I love awkward bathroom snapshots.. Worked 12 hours today and I'm tired.. But love my freshly painted do.. Thanks Steph, you are a true stylist..

Where is all that sunshine??

I don't know what it is about the cold winter season that makes me want to sit at home all day, drink wine, and watch sundance films. Now I feel like I'm at a dead end with anymore ideas of what to rent! I have so far watched Lars and the real girl, 5 Minutes of Heaven, and 500 Days Of Summer (Joseph Gordon-Levitt--YUM!). I would love suggestions for more great films (anything will do- with the exception of mainstream films.. so that pretty much rules out anything with barbarians! {i.e-The Rock})

Feline Photoshoot

Your mother's bar..

Hittin' the hot spots around here are like going to visit your grandma with your trampy younger sister! There is nothing that makes the visit worth while, and you end up feeling like you were emotionally fondled by your wrinkly old grandpa. Whatever happened to grabbing a pint at the local pub casually without feeling like you are so overdressed your androgenous (and not in an artsy way). Not to mention all the pygeum-popping old timers asking me what I'm doing with "that guy" and not with him- what used to resemble a man, but now looks like a blob of wrinkly cheese on your plate of cold nachos. I think that will be my last night out in the shwa for a while. God bless a bottle of red wine and pay per view..

I'll take YOU on..

If you haven't heard of the infamous beats of Merril Nisker, now is the time. This is definetly my favorite album of 2009. Youtube her, you won't regret it.

Stacey..... CHERRY BOMB! She makes wearing dog collars look easy..

Alice in glass...

I first heard of Helmut Newton from my friend Stacey, who happens to be a big fan. His erotic yet strong photos portray the female body as artistic, beautiful, and tastefully sexual, and I wanted to know where his inspiration came from. As I researched my dear friends interest, I was intrigued by the lifestyle of Helmut's wife, June a.k.a Alice led- leaving her acting career behind to take up photography when her husband fell ill. She became a high end fashion photographer for many magazines including vogue, Elle, and Marie Claire. But what started only as a temporary sub-in position for Helmut, became a full-time talent. During Helmut's final days, June took several photos to capture bittersweet memories for the Helmut Newton Foundation in Berlin, that can be admired to this day. She definetly inspires me-- Stand by your man, steel his pants, and create untouchable masterpieces...

Diggin' for more..

I find the month of January to be so drab (no offense to all you capricorns and aquarians). There is nothing to do at this time of the year(at least where I'm from).
I need a few suggestions as to what I can do to fill in the empty space between work and home that is productive and entertaining. In the mean time, I'll be shopping online... such cute stuff at www.modcloth.com

The Best X-mas card we got this year...

Thanks Ryan, Amanda, and Ben!

New Decade, More Littering

I made a promise to myself this year to actually follow through with a New Years resolution, and so here it is:

Lose 10 more pounds- and not by starving some more

Its been such a hard year in terms of sobering up and kicking bad habits. Coming home from work at 9 pm and eating a whole chicken isn't cute, and it showed. The late night binges, watching the biggest loser and crying, making sure that I read inspiring novels and chicken soup for the fat girl's soul (F.Y.I- It's not ok to complain and do nothing about it, yes love yourself but not your bad habits, and your friends may be a major factor in weight gain-don't stop being friends- STOP EATING THEIR LEFTOVERS!)

So, as I lay next to my future I ask myself: Who do I want to be today? I realized I didn't want to be a new person everyday anymore, I wanted to just be me but thinner. Anyone who has ever been overweight knows how it is to want to be the skinny bitch, and be seen as interesting and cool. What a lot of people don't realize is how rad they really are when the peel off the layers.
Vanity is dangerous, but we all succumb to the mirror at some point in our lives. I decided to make the change to love, eat, live, and laugh and maybe do a few push-ups-- all in that order


Resolution #2:

Quit smoking.

This is always going to be a stone on my back. Even after a decade of succesfully not smoking, I will still be tempted. I love cigarettes. I love the way they burn the back of my throat, I love the way they make me dizzy in the morning, I love how I look like a rockstar when It hangs off the side of my mouth (that's just a figment of my imagination i think) I love the way my fiancee looks when it hangs off the side of his mouth. We all know how we feel when we drink and smoke-- like royalty. But in essence, some people think I smoked like Cruella Deville, and you know I think they are right. I hate worrying about cancer and this way I don't anymore. You will get to know me as a hypochondriac (thanks mom) and I tend to self-diagnose. According to my brain I've had ever disease known to mankind. Alas, even after knowing all of this, Mr. fag doesn't need to get me drunk to want to fool around! *sigh*


My final resolution was to create a blog..


I'm new to the blog world. I have read blogs. I have seen blogs. I know people who blog.

I didn't ever want to be a 'blogger', but as I type this out, I feel a sense of accomplishment and I have never felt more in touch with my feelings (grose). I feel no mind gaps or pauses, and It feels good to tell people how I really feel (I'm in customer service). I make a promise to you now to write something every few days maybe post a thought here and there and a picture or two, but I will be a blogger damnit!!

I think I'm going to like this...

Happy New Years.